When I think back to all of the memories of you, it makes me smile. Watching you out of your bedroom window while you spray painted my ballet shoes in the backyard for my next ballet recital. The Saturday afternoons that we would go for lunch and get our nails done. The rainy afternoons we would sit in the brown recliner together and listen to music on the phonograph. As I got older, I know I was a challenge to raise at times. Knowing you would have preferred me in skirts and heels instead of construction boots, tee shirts and ripped jeans. I know I made you worry breaking curfew when I told myself you were trying to control me. The times we didn’t speak to one another because we are both strong women and either one of us would give in. As I got older, I felt like we came full circle, being your Maid of Honor for your second marriage. Making time to meet for lunch and catch up with each other with our stories and laughter. At the end of your life you were disappearing, and I didn’t want you to go but I knew you had to. You needed to be with your son and your husband, and I understood. My last moment with you was our best time ever. I was filled with fear and nervousness as I walked through all the other patients of the nursing home to get to you. As I sat down and took your face to look into your eyes, you showed up one more time. I said I love you and your response was “always”. Our good-bye could not have been more perfect. I think of you all of the time and I wish I could pick up the phone for one more conversation, see you for one more hug. I do know you will be waiting for me the next time we meet and that will be our best time ever!
